count dracula: the ginger minger.

Posted on: October 18th, 2012 by theaxepdx@gmail.com 12 Comments

for those long-term readers of this blog it should be obvious that mags and i have two distinctly opposed personalities. i am a wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve type and mags is reserved and infinitely more levelheaded. that does not mean he is consistently right and i have to consistently pick up pieces every morning after my emotional explosions. indeed, as reflective of a fella mags may be, he still fails add the "g" to darlington.

as he left it yesterday, it is now my job to explain some of the boilerplate absurdities made by gavin on tuesday. no, gavin did not claim to be a vampire, nor did he strip off the training gear and sing about the sweet transvestite from transsexual transylvania. but vampires never claim to be vampires before they go in for the carotid artery, and they sure do not sing broadway tunes. as evidence of this season suggests, he has sucked the life force from the timbers. i will leave the assessment of the ginger nosferatu's general managerial skills for all of you to make on your own, but i am certain you have gathered he is a pr nightmare and a nitpicky blogger's dream.

putting hbo supernatural porn in the review mirror, the frustrating thing about gavin is his continued willingness to eschew responsibility for the poor decisions he has made. in particular, he chose to dodge the silver bullet of seattle by running off for the week following that massacre. or is that a cross he avoided? obviously, my concern for the zombie apocalypse has supplanted my preparations for defending against vampires--i blame truly awful television that is true blood.

but that is how vampire mind judo goes. confronted with the option of closing the door or inviting the fangs in for a drink, the fangs always win out. and now our sensibilities are overwhelmed with the confusion of succumbing to our destruction. so, it really is no shocker that many of you railed when gavin made his first appearance in front of a microphone since the debacle in seattle.  instead of taking responsibility for the tactical decisions such as starting the rodwall and facepalmer over the prefered options, it was as if gavin felt he had been tricked into making those choices. or one better, caleb made him do it.

in a conversation i had on tuesday it was mentioned that gavin was already beginning to set up caleb porter for the fall. this very well could be the case. in his discussion of the decisions made for the seattle match he states rather clearly that caleb has been involved in the set-up. in fact they have continued conversations, and those conversations have led to the personnel and on-pitch decisions. while plausible, i find it rather difficult to swallow that a man who is completely dedicated to his work can find time to pull himself away from the zips current efforts for another national championship in order to manage a team from 2000 miles away. call me suspicious, but that reeks of someone preparing for what should be a public hanging based on the results of his tenure as the interim ginger.

after describing the process of continued contact needed in order to make player decisions, gavin then admitted the rodwall decsion could be questioned. now, we all know how i feel about the rodwall--and if you do not, you will soon be acquainted with the emotional response. in the face of my desire to see the rodwall shipped off to some forgotten side in the coffins of the hungarian 3rd division, i wanted to give the rodwall a hug when i read that gavin suggested the rodwall decision could be questioned, that smith will play against vancouver, and that the best eleven will be on the pitch for the next match. at the risk of being obtuse, i would suggest the rodwall knows he is not the prefered left back. but saying that he is not part of the best eleven only undermines the young player's confidence--something the rodwall suffers a severe deficiency. while he did not say it outright, his comments were tantamount to suggesting the rodwall was the primary cause for the loss in seattle. while drunken bastards like sir alex may get away public rebukes in order to motivate, gavin is no sir alex and his use of the media is anything but constructive--they are often employed to insulate himself from his poor decisions.

which brings me to the next issue and it bothered me more than his public treatment of the rodwall. while i hope it was typical inartful language from the ginger, the proof is in the blood pudding as they say. when looking to prospective recruits for the side i would think necessity followed closely by talent would be the determining factors for acquisition. but little did i know that the most important thing to consider is whether the player likes portland. i get it: they should be escorted through a number of the dodgy food carts before chowing down on some poutine or some big ass sandwiches or pine state biscuits, and then they should be introduced to darcelle's before a round at ron tom. perhaps even showing them the orange and purple rooms at powell's before a trip to mississippi records would assist the evaluation process.

in all seriousness, gavin may very well be a public relations trainwreck, but as terrible as he is at soundbite material, we supporters have also allowed our impressions and opinions of him to dictate our responses to even the slightest flub. listen, i think he is an idiot who is over his head and incapable of turning things around, but after second and third blush, while there were some poorly made comments, i agree with magadh that they were not shocking in the least. however i was not shocked because i have come to expect gavin to be an inarticulate numpty who would rather sell out his best friend if it meant his survival. at some point he must admit that the buck stops with him and that he made many of the poor decisions that affected the seattle match (it is not like he had caleb on speed dial to discuss the substitution eb5 for futty, or playing fucito for 45 minutes), that affected the season, and that affected the future of the timbers. that is why i was so irritable when first reading his comments--he could not do it, he could not take responsibility.

but, as they say, looking in the mirror is difficult for vampires.

sunshine.

12 Responses

  1. Yep

    October 18, 2012

    Porter isn’t here yet and Gavin is already revving up the bus, doesn’t bode well. What does MP say to GW at his annual performance review?

    Reply
  2. Brandon Baker

    October 18, 2012

    Interesting ideas about Gavin and his effect on the club. One request: can we limit the “ginger” comments somewhat? There’s plenty about Gavin’s time as player, manager, GM, and interim manager with the club to dissect and criticize without constantly using his appearance as a dig. Stick to the good work you have done pointing out where he needs to improve as a soccer mind and manager.

    Reply
    • theaxepdx

      October 18, 2012

      first off, thanks for the compliment. next, i can see where it may be construed as a dig–mainly, i can no longer say, write, think his name without having an unhealthy reaction. so, in an effort to prevent wretching i have construed an identity for him based on, well, his red hair. it is a poetic license. but, sure, i can reduce the number of times i refer to him as the interim ginger. ;)

      Reply
      • Brandon Baker

        October 18, 2012

        Thanks. I understand your frustration and disappointment with Gavin (perhaps those are not strong enough terms? :) ). I appreciate you taking my request seriously. Love the site.

        Reply
    • theaxepdx

      October 18, 2012

      we cherish every person who takes the time to jump on this blog and read it. not to mention those who actually comment! it is because we have passionate and devoted readers that we continue to write daily. so the thanks should be extended to you!

      Reply
  3. fdchief218D

    October 18, 2012

    The thing that makes me want to gag is the way the carrottopped rascal gets a pass from the so-called “sports reporters” in this town.

    Now I get it that GCA doesn’t want to burn his bridges with the FO, and that ol’ Gav is a notorious grudge-holder, but, shite, man; how naive do you have to be to buy this “evaluating the players for next season” crap.

    As a Scotsman holding a day job Kevin Alexander does a brilliant job here (http://sliderulepass.net/the-man-the-myth/) of doing what our supposed Oregon sports reporters SHOULD be doing; shoving dynamite under the Wilkinson Credibility Bridge and blowing that bastard shy-high.

    I get the heroic man-crush that Merritt has on his Kiwi boy-toy. Mere idiots and morons will not pry his arms from around his GM/BFF. Blogging is good, but…how many potential ticket-buyers and merch-snafflers read the Timbers blogs?

    But…if the media in this town would do their jobs the public might develop enough anger at the ridiculous way this gomer has managed to sink this team that a divorce could be forced on the happy couple.

    Mind you – I’m not living in expectation…

    Reply
    • theaxepdx

      October 18, 2012

      yeah, kevin killed it with that piece. i only wish our day jobs would allow mags and myself to go as in depth. such are the hazards of a daily blog. and you are right, blogging does not reach the typical consumer. we have a steady following, but it is no where near the numbers that read O-live. but i will say, even though our numbers are only a percentage of gca’s they grow every month. word of mouth helps.

      Reply
    • theaxepdx

      October 18, 2012

      i will also suggest that blogs are the way to mainstream media. for instance, arseblogger wrote that carl jenkinson’s dad was a back up singer for a rather popular pop song in the 80′s (not true in the slightest). he did this to prove a point–that mainstream media pilfer his words. not but 2 days after he wrote that, a fella from the mail asked carl jenkinson about his dad’s singing career.

      the point: mainstreamers do read the beat of the people. what they do with that is up to them.

      Reply
    • theaxepdx

      October 18, 2012

      here is the link to the offending question https://twitter.com/arseblog/status/253170364606205952

      Reply
  4. fdchief218F

    October 18, 2012

    Don’t get me wrong; you guys and KA are rockin’ the house. We NEED the blogs to keep up the drumfire on the FO. But what’s frustrating to me is that “what they (meaning GCA and the rest of the supposed sports beat reporters) do with that” is typically to try and shove it down the memory hole.

    Not that this is shocking; the entire “news” media in general has been Pavloved into believing that “access” is their Golden Ticket, and that to write critically about their subjects is to lose access. So they become stenos for the FO, and the results are that most people get the Shiny Happy People version that the FO wants to get out.

    Just frustrating to watch GW drive this bus off the cliff while the mainstream media smile politely and say nice things about what a well-dressed fellow he is…

    Reply
    • theaxepdx

      October 18, 2012

      i agree with the golden ticket. certain major plubications and carpetbaggers alike pander for the pass. a few of us bloggers have requested them…and we are still waiting.

      honestly, i look forward to the day i can write a post that says: everything is hunky dorry here in ptfc central.

      Reply
  5. octoberthoughtspdx

    October 18, 2012

    Still waiting. But I’m a rabble-rouser so I never expected to actually *get* a press credential. My hope is that when the time comes that Kevin finds himself stateside again, we can get one into his hands.

    Reply

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